Time

Time is just one of those things that you never really pay attention to unless you don't have enough. If you think about it, when have you ever heard someone complain that they have too much time? Well, other then maybe a sports team that is currently winning and they want the remaining time on the clock to go faster.

For me, I haven't had enough time lately. I've been working a lot of over time in the past three weeks (40 total hours of OT and still counting) and I still didn't have enough time to get everything that I wanted to complete finished by this weekend's deadline. The bad thing about it is that this wasn't the end of things. I still have a lot of stuff left over to do, but now I'll have a lot of additional things to do on top of it.

As a result of the overtime that I had to work (and not get paid for, go go being salalry!) I've barely had any time to be with my family. I've made it a point to get home before my little girl goes to bed, but considering that is at 8:45 most nights, that's not really saying much. I make it a point to read her a bedtime story, but when that's almost all of the time that I get with her during the week, it's not nearly enough.

This weekend was the thrid one in a row that I've had to go into the office, so I've basically had about 1 hour total each day to see see my daughter on week days, which gets bumped to about 3 hours each day on the weekend. It's killing me. I miss her so much. When I came home tonight from work, she gave me the biggest hug in the world. I could just feel how much she misses me.

Obviously, my wife understands what's going on much better then my daughter. I at least get an additional hour or two every day with her that we can spend together. She's getting rather frustrated though since she has to do almost everything by herself since I'm not home much. I try to do as much as I can when I get home, but there is only so much left to do when I get here.

I want to say that there is light at the end of the tunnel, but I don't know for sure. I truely believe that all of this OT is going to be over in 2-3 weeks though. By that time, everyone will have adjusted to the new system and my team shouldn't have as many critical issues to deal with. Unfortunately for me, I was the one that drew the short straw (well, it's actually because I'm the shit and can handle things by myself) so I have to go to Houston for a couple of days. So not only am I the only one on my team with a kid, but I get the honor of leaving her for a couple of days when I'm already missing her so much. I haven't even left yet and I can't stand being away from my family.

It's just tough.

It just sucks.

I guess I should just look on the bright side. Things will either get a whole lot better in the next 2-3 weeks, or the shit will hit the fan and I will get fired as a result. Either way I win since I'll get a chance to see my family again.

Thanks for letting me bitch. Although, I guess you didn't really have a chioce.

Finally!

I got my rdm to 37 yesterday afternoon. It feels great to scratch that off of my list of things to do. I'm not sure if I liked the job though. I think I would like to play rdm if I always had a main healer in the party, but I know they are asked to be the main healer a lot 41+. Shoot, as a taru rdm, I was asked to be the main healer a couple of times in my run to 37 because of my mp pool.

I just want to get back to leveling blm. It seems like all of my friends have left me in the dust level wise. Most of the missions that I'm on require me to be a higher level if I'm not going to leech them. I've been looking into places that I can maybe solo on my blm while I lfg. The invite rates have dropped a lot for blm's since the most recent expansion. I hate soloing though. It's so freaking boring.

Work still sucks. The project is really moving along and dooms day is quickly approaching. I'm dreading the whole thing. It's a lose, lose situation for me. If everything goes smoothly and works seamlessly, then everyone will just go on about their business. That's the best case scenario for us though. I really hate my job. Too bad no one out there will probably pay me what I'm getting now to start a brand new career.

Work sucks!

Not that you guys need me to tell you that though. I've been getting crushed at work with various deadlines that, at one point in time, seemed so far away. It sucks to be last in a chain of deadlines for a project because everyone else gets to push their deadlines back but all that does is your total time to work on something gets compressed.

I haven't had much desire to log onto FFXI as a result. I log on to do some basic things and to meet any commitments that I've made with people, but other then that "my" time in game hasn't been much as of late. I've managed to get my rdm to 29 and war to 24 though. I've been selling some pointless crap that I have to get me by. I hope to power rdm to 37 soon as I have a lot of equips that I'm only ever going to use on rdm and I'd like to sell them to fund some top of the line equips for my war. I just realize that I should be a melee. Too bad I don't want to throw away all of my blm levels (and equips) just yet.

Other then that, nothing much is going on. The Ravens losing really put a damper on my weekend. I was at the game and they are 0/2 in playoff games that I go to. The only home playoff game that I missed was during their Super Bowl run, so, tbh, the loss this past weekend was all my fault. My voice is almost recovered from it though. Being there in person, I'd have to say that I think the Colts are going to win the whole thing this year. I just don't see any of the remaining teams being able to beat them.

My hopes for this week include not getting fired from my job for punching someone in the face and getting my rdm to 32.

I'm Bleeding

Of course, it was because I gave blood today, or at least tried to. Something happened and they had to stop just after I got poked. So, I experienced all of the pain associated with it, without any of the warm fuzzies that come along with successfully donating. Meh, it won't stop me from trying again at my work's next blood drive.

I've had a lot of fun in FFXI the past two nights. All because I got to do things with my LS. It's nights like the past two that are why I play. I just like to have fun with people that I like. I dread joining pick up exp parties because doing the same thing over and over again is so boring if you aren't at least cracking jokes and not taking your self so seriously.

If there was one thing that annoyed me about the past two nights, it’s that some people are so unprepared for things. Why some people just prefer to be told everything and don't bother to take the time to research things is beyond me. Everyone that was doing either mission 5.1 or 5.2 for the first time should have known what it involved and what to expect. Having to remind people to do their cut scenes is ridiculous. YOU'VE BEEN DOING MISSION CUT SCENES FOR EVERY MISSION SO FAR! Why wouldn't you do them ahead of time when you've known for a couple of days before hand that we are going to do that mission? All you end up doing is wasting everyone's time that are waiting on you, to help you out.

At least people showing up on time seemed ok this time around. It wasn't perfect, but it was better then it has been in the past. That's one of my biggest pet peeves. I go out of my way to get prepared and log off at the proper spot the night before I'm going to participate in an event. This is because most of the events that I'm able to attend start at the time that I log on, and therefore I don't have time to do any muling or traveling while others are waiting on me. Other people just don't seem to care. In fact, lots of people assume that things will start late and just wait until someone says, 'ok, we are starting now…where is everyone?' before they stop doing what they are currently working on. If you need to mule before an event, you should set aside at least 20-30 minutes to do so. If you factor in travel time, you should START getting ready for an event 30-45 minutes before it begins. It's going to be a rather harsh reality for some of these people when they get real jobs and have to be in meetings on time.

Man, that felt good.

I'm starting to re-think my whole run rdm to 37 real quick plan. Mainly because it's boring me to death, but also because I sunk a lot of funds into equips for my rdm, and now I'm practically broke. Part of me just wants to power through so that I can sell those equips and get back to normal, but I'm not sure if my current gil levels can hold me over until then. I'm 26 now and I average 1.5 levels per night of exping. Having signed up for some events and a static lately, I only get 1-2 nights each week to exp on my rdm. So with 11 levels to go, it's going to take me about 3-5 weeks to finish. Of course, I could just farm/craft etc on those nights instead of exping, but I just want to get it over with so bad and never have to look at it again. I think I have a bunch of random low level equips that I could sell that might get me through it.

Playing war last night was fun. It's just one of those really easy, mindless melee jobs that still gives you a feeling that you contribute a lot to the party. Well, this one horrible, sword wielding war that we had to pick up on the fly didn't really add anything to the party but I felt like I did. If it wasn't for the fact that war equips are so expensive, even before you get to 60+, then I might have had it be my main a long time ago.

Wow, I think I've rambled on for long enough. Later.

Way too long...

...in between posts that is. I was wondering what kept me from posting recently and it got me thinking.

#1 - in-game I have not done much recently. This is a result of lack of playtime due to the holiday season, and to my general lack of progress when I do play. My rdm is up to a whopping 24, and I don't think that I've done much else.

#2 - My general lack of opening up. I have a hard time opening up to random people. In fact, some of my closest friends barely know me at all. They know the person that they hang out with, but there are very few people that I've let get to REALLY know me.

Almost all of my posts so far have had nothing to do with who I am. There is some sort of security in the fact that my profile doesn't give out any of my personal details, and the only thing I've exposed so far is that I live in Maryland. Of course, some of you that are reading this might know a bit more since I've I've talked on other forums or in-game with you, but you probably don't know that much about me.

I feel like this is a forum that I could open up on since there is still some buffer preventing what I say to being pinned on the "real me." As you might be able to tell, I want to use this as a means to vent/discuss some of my deeper thoughts without most people being able to tell who is actually thinking them. It might sound weird to some of you, but whatever.

I don't exactly know what I was trying to say in the previous paragraphs. Maybe it was just that I want to talk about more then FFXI in this forum. Maybe it is that I want the people that I hope are reading this to get to know me a bit better with out having to have a direct conversation with them. I just don't know.

All that being said, this post is really about nothing. I'm just trying to lay the ground work to the fact that I don't want to just talk about FFXI here. So...um...yeah...

Til next time

Shopping Spree

As I mentioned yesterday, I thought that I was going to go on a little shopping spree once I played again. I did and I ended up buying more then I thought that I would. I bought all of the equips that I'm going to need to get my rdm to lvl 25, including some of the luxury items that I thought that I was going to skip. Some of the higher priced items were a Baron's Saio, Mist Silk Cape (which I used to have, but foolishly sold a while back), Garrison Gloves (I still can't believe that I drop 100k gil on a macro item), and a Lantern Shield.

I also outfitted my lvl 20 war for Garrison tonight and also so that I can maybe level in the near future. The Lantern Shield does double duty there and I also picked up a Neckchopper.

After the shopping was all done, I decided to lfg for a bit on war since I was in Jeuno anyway. After getting an invite to a level 22-23 party, I thought it would be best to bag exping on war and to just do this week's Chocobo Race. Once I won the race (and received a whole 531 exp for my blm), I headed over to Windurst. I logged out at the outpost, ready to go for Garrison tonight.

I'm kind of excited about doing Garrison. I haven't done one in a while so it'll be nice to hang out with the LS.

Hopefully after Garrison, we'll be able to fight the Tungi NM for Pickle. If not, we might give it a go Saturday before I have to head out to my wife's Christmas Party. I hope he gets the drop soon. I know he has been really into leveling his war lately.

zomg....Snow!

It always makes me laugh every year around this time. Here in Maryland it snows every year, but for some reason half of the state isn't prepared for it. With a light snow in the forecast, my company sent out the Inclement Weather Policy. It roughly states that in MD, 3 inches of snow could shut us down for the day, which is ridiculous. I personally think our state roads crew does a great job of clearing the snow, but the drivers out there go into two categories.

1. Panic at the first flake, drive at 5 mph and cause accidents as a result.
2. Think that they are invincible in their SUV's and somehow drive faster then they normally would and cause accidents.

People just need to calm down and drive carefully while not over-reacting.

Well, now that's off my chest. Thanks for listening to me complain.

Good news! My stupid Invigorating Cape finally sold. I'm probably going to go on a mini shopping spree when I next play. I need to buy some new equips for my rdm which is now 16 thanks to two very productive nights in the dunes (yes, you read that correctly). I also plan on buying some lvl 20 cap stuff for my war in hopes that I can make it out to Garrison for the first time in a couple of months. Actually, I think the only things that I need for it are a weapon and a body item. I'll be late if I do go though since it's scheduled to start about an hour before I can log on. Luckily, it usually lasts at least 2-3 hours so I should be able to make a couple of runs assuming that they aren't full when I get there.

My current focus in-game is to level rdm to 37 as a sub. My only goal this week was to get it to 15, which I did and then some. If I get lucky, I might try to take it to 19-20 by the end of the week and say good bye to the dunes. I should probably take rdm to 40 though to have it available for 40 cap stuff. Of course, I should probably take whm to 40 for that reason as well. I don't know though, I REALLY hate to play whm. Part of me thinks that the LS would be better off if they weren't ever tempted to ask me to be whm for any given missions/quests.